it is not a means to an end // life

     If you've known me at all, you'd know that on and off for the past five years, I've worked at my Dad's coffeeshop in our small town. It was an amazing opportunity to start working there, and through the years I've learned more and more about the business side of things. That's why it has been so hard for me to come back after eight months of being away at school. Last summer I really began to feel the solid strings of what my Dad had created begin to rip, one by one. So when I left my job in the fall, I was happy. I was happy to be away from the negative environment my workplace had become. I was happy to be away from the rudeness and gossiping of the staff I was with everyday. I was happy to be happy again. I've been back from school a week and already worked six days at the shop, and I'm already prepared to stop. Why? It's not because I don't like the job anymore. I actually love it. I thrive in the environment we give customers. But not the negative one we've so often placed ourselves in at the job. I thrive talking to customers, regular and new, and asking how they've been, how their kids are, and once I've finished making their coffee and food, I start again with a new customer. It is a beautiful thing to see a customer's sad face light up when you've placed a latte with art on top of it in front of them. It gives me a sense of pride every time. Unfortunately, because of silly frustrations when it comes to staffing problems and general management, I've ended up hating the idea of going to work every day.

     My parents know that I haven't been happy there for a while. So today we finally talked about it. I shared all of my opinions, no holding back on anything. I'm frustrated with how staff are treated by other staff, myself included. I'm frustrated with how customers are treated by staff, not as a customer, but a problem. So I talked and I cried, because that's apparently the only way I know how to share my feelings, by crying. And I think it turned out positive. In the end we came up with multiple solutions and possibilities of things we can start implementing to truly make our/his business better. It's all I've wanted in terms of this job. I've never taken anything to heart and I've never come home upset because of what one girl has said to me. It is honestly and truly just me wanting my family to have a strong, thriving business where the staff are respectful to one another. Not creating an environment that is unsafe or uncomfortable for other staff members.

     If anyone out there has team buildings ideas or general ideas on making a business thrive again, please shoot me a comment! I'd love to know and share with my dad and the other staff.

10:30pm // rambles

     It's 10:30 on Saturday evening. I'm surrounded by boxes and bags filled with the silly bits and pieces that piled up in my dorm room that I just can't get rid of. I'm home now. After eight months of living at college and now I'm back home with family. I can't say it's bad, but it's different. Over the years I've been slowly and surely coming to terms with how I like to live. Moving back home, although only for a few days, already has me in a rut. I feel the need to justify everything I do and say. Especially in a house with two thirteen year olds. I get nervous overthinking what I should say or what I am doing. So I'm sat at my messy desk. Mirrors are laid against the wall ahead of me and I can see the glare of the screen from my glasses in the reflection.